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Natural born AmericanThis summer, antiObama protesters have showed up at the president’s townhall addresses on healthcare reform with signs pushing the “birther” conspiracy cheap oakleys theory, which asserts that Obama’s presidency is illegitimate since he was born abroad.

Last weekend, White House “greenjobs czar” and veteran Bay Area activist Van Jones was of the Obama Administration after conservatives raised questions about his signing a 2004 letter suggesting that Bush knew about replica oakley sunglasses and allowed the 9/11 attacks as a pretext to launching wars abroad. The letter was reminiscent of more extreme arguments by 9/11 “truthers,” who believe the Bush Administration destroyed the World Trade Center for its own nefarious purposes.

With so much paranoia in the air on the eighth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, it seems an appropriate time for Versus to tackle a tough question: Who’s crazier, birthers or truthers?

Seeing isn’t always believingLet’s start with the oakley sunglasses outlet birthers. citizen as required of presidential candidates by the Constitution; and the argument that Obama’s birth certificate is meaningless, since the state of Hawaii allegedly issued such documents even to foreignborn babies.

Is your head hurting yet? Needless to say, the above sophistries are all bogus. But don’t take our word for it take a look at a copy of Obama’s birth certificate (pictured) for yourself.

On to cheaper oakleys the truthers. This is a conspiracy theory of older vintage, with a richer history of horseshit, so we won’t even try to be comprehensive in assessing the movement’s claims. Let’s just tackle the shaky cornerstone of a premise, which in this case consists of the observation that the collapse of the twin towers is better explained as the result of a controlled demolition than airplane collisions. Adherents of this belief, including Brigham Young University physics professor Steven E. Jones, say that there has never been an adequate formal investigation into the possibility that explosives planted within the World Trade Center brought down the towers, rather than the extreme heat of burning jet fuel, which experts concluded caused the collapse of the buildings’ steel skeletons.

As Jim Dwyer pointed out in a 2006 New York Times story, truthers aren’t troubled by a few gaping holes in their theory. A couple examples: Controlled demolitions begin from the bottom of a building and explode upwards the opposite of what took place on 9/11. Additionally, demolition experts would have cheap replica oakleys had to spend weeks prior to the collapse of the towers opening up walls and inserting hundreds of pounds of explosives, activity that could hardly have gone unnoticed. Truther ideas were also debunked in a report on the physics of the World Trade Center’s collapse from the National Institutes of Science and Technology. Not to say that any intrusions of sanity have stopped this group’s persistence; a recent truther film festival in Oakland was cosponsored by those evervigilant defenders of paranoid thinking at the San Francisco Bay Guardian.

So who’s crazier, birthers or truthers? The analysis of this question requires some subtlety. The birther position that Obama’s birth certificate is invalid for any number of reasons is fairly banal when compared to the insane grand narrative of truthers, whose conspiracy theory takes detours through the realms of physics and international politics. However, the birther position, supported as it is by a simple refusal to recognize that a birth certificate is, in fact, a birth certificate (see above, again) is more patently idiotic.

Our final verdict: Truthers are crazier. Birthers are dumber. In the name of the Illuminati, fake discount oakleys let’s hope these people don’t mingle among each other and reproduce.

4 Respected Celebrities Who Are Slowly Losing Their Minds

We love it when celebrities lose their minds, but usually the people we watch are the obvious train wrecks just adding more footnotes of craziness to their respective Wikipedia pages. But every now and then, a well respected actor, a ditzy but harmless chef, or a famously mild mannered comedian will come out of the blue with something so perfectly insane that it makes Amanda Bynes’ latest Twitter rant seem both rational and cogent.

4. Will Smith Invented His Own Math Based Religion

In a recent interview with Vulture, Will Smith and his son, Jaden, sat down to talk about After Earth, which would go on to earn worldwide acclaim as the shittiest piece of shit ever released in either of their careers. Right out of the gate, Will calls himself a physicist, and then he begins babbling about some universal space math he invented that has absolutely nothing to do with physics:

Will: I’m a student of patterns. At heart, I’m a physicist. I look at everything in my life as trying to find the single equation, the theory of everything.

He proceeds to give two examples of irrefutable patterns in the universe the sun rising and setting every day (which is a result of the Earth’s orbit, and is every bit as much a “pattern” as the michael kors handbags distance between your house and the bus stop remaining the same every time you walk it), and the way people win Academy Awards. Incidentally, Will Smith stumps himself on that second pattern as he is describing it:

Will: The patterns are all over the place, but for whatever reason, it’s really difficult to find the patterns in Best Actress.

Sean michael kors handbags Gallup / Getty

When you’re a celebrity, words mean whatever you want them to mean.

Luckily, he passed his pattern spotting power on to Jaden. Otherwise, not another living soul in this world would have any idea what the hell he was talking about:

Jaden: I think that there is that special equation for everything, but I don’t think our mathematics have evolved enough for us to even I think michael kors handbags outlet there’s, like, a whole new mathematics that we’d have to learn to get that equation.

Jaden: It’s beyond mathematical. It’s, like, multidimensional mathematical, if you can sort of understand what I’m saying.

Ray Tamarra / Getty

“Never take mathematics advice from someone wearing a white suit.” Steven Hawking

Those are from Hanks’ account, although they seem to be taken from the scrapbook michael kors outlet of a quiet old widow who is slowly poisoning her neighbor’s cat to death. As he very passionately explained to CBS This Morning: Cheap Michael Kors “It’s freezing cold outside, and it’s no fun to have a bare hand when it’s freezing cold. And yet, someone has lost a glove. That means half their life has disappeared for the course of the day. Sometimes they’re pretty little knitted gloves, sometimes they’re hard working . What is a better metaphor for the loneliness of the city? Of a single lost glove?”

We think a better metaphor for loneliness is a middle aged man collecting photographs of gloves.

D Dupasipil / FilmMagic / Getty

We can’t think cheap michael kors of a caption funnier than that mustache.

2. Michael Douglas Doesn’t Understand How Cancer Works

In what was no doubt the most revealing interview ever to be conducted by the Guardian, Michael Douglas attributed his throat cancer not to the years of smoking and drinking that almost certainly caused it, but to a type of HPV he got from performing oral sex on women. Certain types cheap michael kors of HPV have been linked to oral cancer, true, but Douglas went on to claim that the same tainted oral sex actually cured his throat cancer, which at best represents a tenuous grasp of medical science and at worst is something an aggressively sexist douchebag would say to avoid taking responsibility for his life choices.

Stuart C. Wilson / Stringer / Getty

“Vaginas are treacherous, but they have magical restorative powers if you respect them.”

Douglas’ publicist initially denied the remarks, but the Guardian went ahead and released the audio tape of the interview, in which you can clearly hear the actor unleashing his pseudo scientific lunacy. This is a circuitous way of saying that, one way or another, Catherine Zeta Jones has herpes.

1. Paula Deen cheap michael kors Wanted to Have Tap Dancing Slaves at Her Brother’s Wedding

You’ve no doubt seen TV chef Paula Deen trending everywhere the last few days, and you may know that it involves racism somehow. But where most controversies like this involve assholes losing their temper and/or being extremely intoxicated (see: Michael Richards, Mel Michael Kors outlet Gibson), Deen is apparently one of the most bizarrely and archaicly racist people alive today. We’re not even sure that we should call what she has “racism” michael kors handbags it almost feels like some other, weird level.Articles Connexes：

More intriguing, UI anthropologists led by Robert Franciscus think the human chin is a secondary consequence of our lifestyle change, starting about 80,000 years ago and picking up great steam with modern humans’ migration from Africa about 20,000 years later. What happened was this: Modern humans evolved from hunter gatherer groups that were rather isolated from each other to increasingly cooperative groups that formed social networks across the landscape. These more connected groups appear to have enhanced the degree to which they expressed themselves in art and other symbolic mediums. Males in particular became more tranquil during this period, less likely to Jason Witten Cowboys Road White Youth Game Jersey fight over territory and Peyton Broncos Alternate Men’s Elite Jersey belongings, and more willing to make alliances, evidenced by exchanging goods and ideas, that benefited each and all. The change in attitude was tied to reduced hormone levels, namely testosterone, resulting in noticeable changes to the male craniofacial region: One big shift was the face became smaller retrenching in effect a physiological departure that
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